By Barbara Killmeyer
www.barbarakillmeyer.com
I first noticed a problem in mid-October while in Nashville TN doing research for a travel article. Sometime early Saturday morning, about 4 am, I awoke with pains in my stomach. I wasn’t feeling too well in general, not really sick - just not right. I had several places on my agenda to visit that day so I did what was needed to get the facts for my story.
I managed to sit at every opportunity and ate a small, light lunch: convinced that by the time I arrived home the next day the pains would be gone and things would be back to normal.
That didn’t happen. I continued to have small jabs of pain and after a few days my husband insisted that I make a visit to the doctor. I described my symptoms to our family practitioner and after a careful examination he sent me for some blood work and an upper GI test. The results were a shock to me; it turned out that my sugar was up and my blood was down. I was severely anemic; in fact the nurse who called with my results said that if I were very much more anemic I would have to have transfusions. This caught my attention. The upper GI showed only some acid reflux. Because of the anemia my doctor thought I must be bleeding internally and he referred me to a gastro-intestinal specialist to have a colonoscopy.
I was nervous and frightened, but everyone assured me that the evening before, when you must clean out your colon is the worst part – and they were right. The procedure itself was simple and comfortable. I was given a “conscious sedation” so I was asleep during the entire procedure and woke up comfortably in the recovery room.
Now the real worry began. The doctor informed me and my husband that he removed five polyps but the problem came when he discovered a tumor that was cancer. He referred me to a surgeon with the notation that “he can cut it all out and you’ll be done with it.” Cancer! I was frightened and as soon as I got home I called to make an appointment with the surgeon. I couldn’t get one for several weeks and by now we were into the Christmas holidays so I’m sure that had something to do with the wait. But waiting was just horrible because I imagined every sort of tragedy. I could see myself lying in the funeral home and wondered if this might not be my last Christmas, and would the family miss me next Christmas. Outrageous things I know, but I couldn’t turn my brain off. I had watched my father die of cancer and it was terrible. Now I might be facing the same thing. I was so tired at night that I went to sleep right away, but I always woke up between 3 and 4 o’clock and then the thoughts would come and I couldn’t get rid of them. I prayed a lot and was just plain scared.
I needed to have a CT Scan prior to my appointment with the surgeon so I scheduled that for Christmas Eve morning, December 24th. I was dreading this; not the exam itself, but they were going to do my pelvis, stomach and colon. What if they found more tumors there.
I have so many good friends and they all sent encouraging wishes and offers of help. I was very appreciative of each one. I was also on the prayer list for several churches and of several individuals.
On December 28th I received a telephone call from the doctor’s office giving me the results of my CT Scan. They could detect no more tumors! I felt as though a 100 lb. weight was lifted from my shoulders. Now I began to feel more confident. I still had to wait a week before I could see the surgeon, but at least I felt that the cancer was probably localized and, although I still had to go through a rather unpleasant operation, I was feeling more positive that it would turn out alright.
The longer the wait the more anxious I get. Let’s get this over with!
On Saturday evening I started to have more pain in the area of the tumor (lower right side) In addition to being uncomfortable it is very frightening to me. The pain is not a sharp jab, but more of a feeling of soreness. Today is Monday and I can’t wait until my appt with Dr. Lally tomorrow a.m.: the sooner the better. Did I mention that I’m anxious to get this done? Today I have an appt w/ Dr. Noecker about my eyes. What is this? I’m literally falling apart. Maybe I can get all this garbage over now in the beginning of the year and have the rest of the year as normal as possible. I’m trying very hard not to be a baby about this and complain all the time…
Finally! It’s Tuesday and I have my appt with the surgeon, Dr. Lally. He was very nice and explained everything to Don and I answering all my questions. The best news is that the success rate of this surgery is 95%, that made me feel a lot better. I will be having the operation on Friday, January 7 at Ohio Valley General Hospital. About half of my colon will be removed along with the surrounding lymph nodes and blood vessels. In the recovery room I will wake up to find that I have a catheter and an NSG tube that runs from my nose to my stomach. Also, the colon does not begin to work again for about 3 days after the surgery so I will be fed intravenously until they can hear my “guts gurgle” which is a sign that the colon has come alive again. I will be in the hospital for 5 or 6 days with the day of surgery counting as day 0. I left his office and went right to the hospital section to have my blood work done and to have an ekg, more waiting!
It’s Thursday and I am on a liquid diet, waiting for the hospital to call and tell me what time to be there in the morning. I’ve become resigned to the fact that this is going to happen so I made up my mind that I will go to the hospital, get on the bed, gurney, whatever, and let them do their thing. The hospital didn’t call until around 5 p.m. I am to be there at 11 a.m. and the operation is scheduled for 12:30 p.m. The citrate of magnesia that I drank at 2 finally started to work about 7 so I’ve been spending a lot of time in the bathroom.
Now it’s Friday morning and I’m getting ready to go to the hospital. I’m looking forward to getting out of the operating room, out of recovery, and into a room of my own when I’ll know it’s over and I can just relax and sleep off the effects of the anesthetic.
One thing I have found through all this is that I have so many wonderful, caring friends who are worried about me, praying for me, and who have offered to do anything at all that would be helpful to me or to Don. Their concern means a lot to me and I am so thankful for them.
It was quite an adventure. The operation was scheduled for 12:30 and they didn’t even take me down to the operating and prep rooms until 1:30. Needless to say I was a nervous wreck.
On the advice of several people I opted for an epidural rather than the self-administered morphine. It may have worked wonders for others, but for me it was a bad move. I ended up with a terrific backache that may or may not have been from the epidural. Anyway, the procedure for inserting the tube and medication was interesting. Not painful, but at that point everything is worrisome.
At last I was wheeled into the operating room and shifted to the operating table. A very kind and sympathetic nurse told me when she was going to administer the anesthetic and said that I would next wake up in the recovery room. That’s my last memory of Friday. I don’t remember the recovery room and Don said he talked to me, and I answered, in the hall when they brought me to my room.
I slept through Friday. Saturday and Sunday were painful, but I got through it. Then Sunday night/Monday morning the nurses came to my bed and asked if I was feeling alright. I told them yes and asked why. They said my heart was fluctuating a lot. Don told me later that this was what had him very worried because my heart rate would jump from 180 to 175 to 150 then spike back up to 180. I was moved to intensive care and there they were able with the cardiologist to stabilize the heart rate. I had so many tubes etc coming out of me, into me and hanging from me that I couldn’t keep track of them.
The incident with the heart called for heart tests. I received an echocardiogram and the doc said he was scheduling me for a stress test for the next day. I must have looked shocked because he quickly assured me that I didn’t have to get on the treadmill. That was good because I have no idea how I would have managed that! Instead I remained on a gurney and they chemically simulated the stress of the treadmill. I was amazed – I never knew that could be done.
One of the heart tests showed a shadow on one of the chambers of my heart and needed to be checked out to make sure there was no clot. The next morning Don was there at 8 a.m. to be there while I had the test. I was taken to a room on the same floor as my room – 4th floor, heart patients. My throat was sprayed with something to make it numb. This was extremely difficult for me since I have a very sensitive gag reflex and just getting the tongue depressor near my mouth is a major accomplishment. After several tries they got it numbed. I was turned onto my side and the doctor came in. I was given a twilight sedation so I heard, saw, and felt nothing. A probe was put down my throat to check out the heart chamber. The next thing I knew the procedure was over and I was waking up and gagging out the probe. I wasn’t permitted to eat or drink anything for an hour afterward because my throat was still numb and there was the possibility of choking. We waited patiently until 4:00 and no one came to tell us any results. I had been told that I could go home that day depending on what was found. Finally, Don went to the desk to ask. No one knew anything. They called Dr. Ghandi who performed the procedure and she said she had no authority to release me. They then called her associate Dr. Kunsman and he said he couldn’t release me – that was up to the admitting surgeon, Dr. Lally. He was called, but was in surgery. At last, about 4:45 Dr. Lally came to the room and informed us that there was no clot (I wish Dr. Ghandi had taken a minute to tell us that earlier!) and that I could go home.
Dr. Lally assured me once again that all the cancer was taken out. But as a precaution I need to have six months of chemo.
I went home sore and moving quite slowly, but glad to be there. I had been operated on Friday, Jan. 7 and went home the evening of Thursday, January 13.
Recovery seemed to be slow, but Don is a great nurse and took such good care of me. My friends were also so fantastic. I just never knew I had so many of them. Between calls, cards and flowers I was overwhelmed. Then there were the special friends who did things like provide us with home cooked meals.
On Jan. 28 I was back in the hospital. This time as an out patient to get a port implanted in my chest with a tube running to a large vein. Through this port I will get all bloodwork and chemo done.
On Feb. 7, one month after the surgery, I had my first chemo treatment. I have to go every two weeks. On the first day I receive a combination of drugs in a two hour session, then home with a bag containing more medicine and a pump which keeps giving me the medicine over a 22 hour period. For several days I have to be very careful about eating or drinking anything cold because the one drug will give me reaction where I’ll feel like my throat is closing. Don’t want that!! I also have to cautious when handling cold things because it will make my fingers etc. hurt. On the second day, I return for another two hour chemo session and a refill of “Buddy” my bag. On the third day, I go to be disconnected from Buddy. The week I don’t go for chemo I have to have my blood checked. If this sounds like a lot – it is! And I won’t be done with it until the end of July.
I am well now, still go for checkups, but the prognosis is good.
Barbara Killmeyer
Author of: It’s Nobody’s Business but Yours
www.barbarakillmeyer.com
