Women’s Independent Press

June 5 – Executive Women’s Council of Pittsburgh is holding its Annual Meeting from 6:00PM to 8:00PM - To be held at the WQED Studios, Hors d’oeuvres and wine will be served. Our sponsor is BNY Mellon Escrow Services. 
The Executive Women’s Council of Pittsburgh will present Deborah Acklin, President and CEO of WQED Multimedia with its first honorary membership. Registration fees: $25 for members, $30 for guests. Free parking at the event. To make reservations, click the registration link below. https://ewcgp.memberclicks.net/index.php?option=com

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June 6 - Wexford Area - Business Leads Exchange Networking Lunch - YOU MUST RSVP TO THIS EVENT BY Monday- June 4th. Midnight - You must also cancel your reservation by Monday midnight - If you do not cancel you WILL be billed $18.00 for the lunch you reserved. Where: Atria’s - Time: 11:30am - 1:30pm
Presenters: Byron Pyror - First Niagara Bank, Bob Neal – Brain Injury Group Please RSVP to MichelleZmijanac@BestPracticesDelivered.com

Greater Pittsburgh Business and Professional Women’s Association
P.O. Box 4620 · Pittsburgh, PA 15206 · (412) 889‐2401
PITTBPW@hotmail.com
Benefit for the Linda A. Cobb Memorial Scholarship Fund
Breakfast Panel & Discussion on Issues that Affect Women
June 6, 2012· Registration 7:00AM *** Program 7:30 to 9:30AM
Rivers Club · One Oxford Centre Pittsburgh, PA 15219
Healthcare: The Impact on Women Today
$35 Pre‐Registration $40 at the Door $25
Student Rate Continuing Education Credits may be available

The WSBA Network Lunch
A Networking Luncheon for Women Business
Owners & Professionals
Get Heard, Get Noticed, Get Leads”

A networking event open to any business woman who would like
to increase her business contacts/clientele. Our networking
format will be structured to provide participants with high
profile and networking. Bring 20-30 business cards/brochures,
cash for your lunch check, and be prepared to give a 60-second
commercial about yourself.

June 7 - 11:30 a.m. - Natrona Heights
June 8 - 1:00 p.m. - Robinson/Airport
June 11 - 1:00 p.m. - Beaver County
June 13 - 11:30 a.m. - Shaler/Gibsonia
June 15 - 1:00 p.m. - Monroeville
June 20 - 1:00 p.m. - South Hills
June 21 - 1:00 p.m. - East End
June 22 - 12:00 p.m. - Westmoreland
June 26 - 1:00 p.m. - North Hills
June 27 - 5:15 p.m. - Mansions on Fifth Hotel (5101 Fifth Ave.)
Host: Women’s Small Business Association
Fee: $2 meeting fee (plus the cost of lunch)
RSVP: Required (Note: Any “Yes” RSVPs who do not show
will be charged a $20 no-show fee.)

For more info and to register online,
go to: http://www.wsba.ws’

If you have further questions, contact Eileen Conniff Marzullo
at 412-429-9919 or marzullope@verizon.net .

June 7, 2012
The Musuneggi Financial Group
Presents
INVESTING 101 For Teens and Young Adults

If you had known when you were a teenager what you know today about investing,
would that have been beneficial to you?
If you had started to invest when you were young, instead of at age 40, 50, or 60, how would
that have impacted your retirement planning today?

Do you know that some studies say that the majority of money inherited by children is gone
within a matter of months? The more knowledgeable your children are about finances,
the better chance they won’t waste their inheritance.
You and your teens and young adults are invited to join The Musuneggi Financial Group
to learn the basics of developing sound financial planning skills.

What they will learn:

The 4 mistakes young people make with money, and how to avoid them.
The basics to understanding the world of investing
How to assure they will be able to continue to live in the style their parents have provided for them.

For more information or to register:
Phone: 412-341-288
www.SingleStepsStrategies.com
info@singlestepsstrategies.com

June 8 – Women’s Power Lunch –Bella Sera, 414 Morganza Road Canonsburg, 1 PM – 3 PM, Cost: $30, Vendors: members $5, non-members $25 – Vendor booths may be researved by contacting Melanie at melanieansell@comcast.net. If you are existing Power Lunch member, the cost of an 8 foot covered table is only $5 - http://mybusinessbuilders.net/power-lunch/washington-county-pl/  

June 8 – “Strolling to Success: How Locally-Based 4moms went International” A CWE Women Business Leaders Breakfast Series - Time: 7:30am-9:00am - Chatham University Shadyside Campus - Woodland Rd, Pittsburgh PA 15232
Cost: $25.00, student rate $12.50 with valid ID

June 8,– BRENTWOOD BALDWIN WHITEHALL CHAMBER OF COMMERCE
Women’s Networking Luncheon
Noon
South Hills Country Club
4305 Brownsville Road, 15236
The monthly luncheon meeting* of the Women’s Networking of the Brentwood Baldwin Whitehall Chamber of Commerce will meet on Friday, June 8, noon, at South Hills Country Club. Please plan on attending and bring a friend. We welcome members and non-members. Tables are available for ladies who would like to display products or merchandise. Everyone will pass out cards and brochures and present a one-minute “commercial.”
Speaker– Dr. Deborah Gilboa, MD

Please make a reservation by contacting our secretary: Mary Dilla at
secretary@bbwchamber.com  412-884-1233

June 13 - Mount Lebanon Area - Business Leads Exchange Networking Lunch
YOU MUST RSVP TO THIS EVENT BY Monday June 11. midnight - You must also cancel your reservation by Monday midnight - If you do not cancel you WILL be billed $18.00 for the lunch you reserved - Atria’s - Mount Lebanon, 110 Beverly Road Pittsburgh (Mount Lebanon), Pa. 15216 - Time 11:30 am - 1:30pm - Presenter: To Be Announced - Please RSVP to this event to Tina Nobers - Email: TinaNobers@CMNNutritionGroup.com

June 13, How to create, plan and execute an event to market your business
Speaker: Autumn L. Edmiston, Rev-Up Marketing
Establish yourself as an expert in your field through educational
events. Partnering with non-profit organizations and/or
complimenting businesses will add depth to your event. Learn about another way to reach your target in a competitive marketplace.
Date: June 13, 2012
Time: 12:00 - 1:00 p.m.
Place: Volunteers of America, 1650 Main Street, Sharpsburg
Host: Volunteers of America of Pennsylvania
Cost: Free (Bring a brown bag lunch)
To register, call 412.782.5344 (x209) or email
volunteersofamerica@voapa.org

Win Pitt presents
June 13, 2012 : 11am to 1pm
PNC Training Center, RIDC park
Starting a Business, What you need to know to get a loan
Hosted by PNC Bank
Stephanie Hannon, VP/VP, Branch Manager
This Lunch and Learn will cover the SBA Lending process
RSVP Required, www.winpitt.org

You Bloom Wellness
June 19 6:30-8pm, Permanent weight loss starts in your mind, not in your mouth!
Check our summer class schedule for topics about portion
distortion,healthy eating, using an integrated mindset to relax,
lose weight, improve your sleep
For class times and dates
http://youbloomwellness.com/classes/

Laura Crooks, RN, certified wellness coach
Permanent weight loss starts in your mind, not in your mouth!
www.YouBloomWellness.com
412-596-9516
http://youbloomwellness.com/classes

June 20 - Monroeville Area- Business Leads Exchange Networking Lunch
YOU MUST RSVP TO THIS EVENT BY Monday-June 18th midnight You must also cancel your reservation by Monday midnight - If you do not cancel you WILL be billed $18.00 for the lunch you reserved - Bella Luna Trattoria 5060 William Penn Highway, Monroeville, Pa. 15146
Time 11:30 am - 1:30pm - Presenters- To be announced Please RSVP to this event to Rob MageeBLXMurrysville@gmail.com  

June 20 – Pittsburgh Professional Women - New Date for June Workshop*: The Smart Money Mindset For Women - Don’t miss this one!! From 9am-11:30am - LeMont Restaurant, featuring a panel of local experts - Registration includes Breakfast & Workshop, Members $35, Non Members $49, Prices increase to $45 and $55 on June 13th. To register: http://pittsburghprofessionalwomen.org/upcoming-workshops  

June 20 - MWDBE Governmental Committee Presents The Small Business Outreach and One-to-One Mentoring Conference - Bankers- Government Lenders-Business and Marketing Plan Specialist -Accountants and Attorneys -Information Technically Specialist - Registration: 1:30 P.M.- 2:00 P.M.
Conference Starts: 2 P.M. – 5 P.M. to register, visit https://events.r20.constantcontact.com/register/eventReg?  

June 22—Enhanced Creativity is pleased to invite you to More than A Mixxer
on Friday, June 22nd, 2012 at Sherwood Event Center, at Hosanna House,
400 Sherwood Road, Wilkinsburg. 5:30p-10p
Spend your Friday evening engaging with the community, learning about tradition
and culture, tasting traditional and ethnic appetizers, and last but not least enjoy a
variety of local entertainment?
More than a Mixxer is an opportunity for you.
Registration required. For additional information or to register today call
Rae Coleman at 724.831.7321
Enhanced Creativity
www.enhancedcreativity.com
enhancedcreativity2009@gmail.com

“Overcome Employee Sabotage”
Wednesday June 27th from 1-3pm
at the Waterfront Hotel
(Regatta Bar & Grille)
Professional Men Welcome
Cost $20 at the door includes lunch & workshop
http://pittsburghprofessionalwomen.org/upcoming-workshops

July 12 and 13 - Inspired Early Bird Tickets – Save money till June 11th for the 2-day Inspired Womens Conference being held July 12 & 13th at the Marriott North. Event kicks off at 1:00 with programming and moves into the VIP Networking Cocktail Party and Vendor Stroll from 5:30 t0 8:30. Check out the agenda, Grab a Girlfriend and get registered! Make a night of it with screamin’ hotel rates! Www.InspiredWomen.com

Find out more about The Place for Reiki, including a complete list of upcoming classes and workshops, at http://www.the-place-for-reiki.com

Bonnie Hassan
The Place for Reiki
139 Steuben Street, Ste. 100
Pittsburgh, PA 15220
412-920-2911
the-place-for-reiki@earthlink.net

Date: June 9 (Sat.) Time: 10 AM - 12:30 PM
Cost: $35

Large Group Healing Circle
Take a break from your busy schedule and join me for a group healing circle. You might be amazed at how much more intense your response to the healing energies of Reiki can be when you combine your energy with the energies of all who participate in this larger group circle. There is a synergy that happens when a larger group gathers that often intensifies the experience of everyone present. Experience the Native American channeling combined with the vibrations of the drum for a powerful whole body experience, and be open to hands on healing and messages from your angels and guides as the circle progresses. Each circle is different, so don’t stay away just because you’ve experienced one before. And the response to Reiki is cumulative, so the more you receive, the more change you experience! Call or email early to reserve your space. And please bring a notebook or journal!

Date: June 13 (Wed.) Time: 6:30 – 8:30 PM
Cost: An Offering from Your Heart

Reiki I Class
Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction, relaxation and healing. This class will enable you to do Reiki on yourself, family members and friends. Imagine being able to ease your stress with a gentle touch of your own hands! By the end of class you will be certified as a Reiki I Practitioner and receive a certificate suitable for framing. Open to everyone.

Date: June 16 (Sat.) Time: 9AM – 6:30 PM
Cost: $125 (Registration and $50 non-refundable deposit are due by June 1.)

Reiki III (Master Class)
Learn how to share your gift of Reiki with others in an even greater way! This class teaches you additional symbols and the attunement process so that you can teach others how to do Reiki. You will also learn an additional technique to help remove deep-seated blockages from the energy system. Even if you don’t plan to teach Reiki, the Master Class is a wonderful way to boost your energy to its highest level to give you a greater ability to help yourself and others. Prerequisite: Advanced Reiki Training (ART) (I only have 3 spots left for this class, so if you are interested, please let me know asap, please!

Dates: July 7 & 8 (Sat. & Sun.) Time: 9:00 AM – 6:00 PM each day,

Cost: $650 (Registration and $100 deposit are due by June 20.)

Reiki II Class
Are you a Reiki I practitioner who is ready for the next step? Reiki II teaches you how to do distance healing, and target unhealthy behavior patterns. At the completion of the class you will be certified as a Level II Reiki Practitioner and will receive a certificate suitable for framing. Prerequisite: Reiki I

Date: July 28 (Sat.) Time: 9 AM - 6 PM
Cost: $475 (Registration and $75 deposit due July 1.)

Brought to you by SCORE, America’s small business mentors,
at www.score.org

You want to pump money into that burgeoning business of yours, but the mortgage has to be paid.
How do you strike a balance?

Keeping a Cash Flow
The best practice is to have start-up money to begin your business, so that from the very start you have
an automatic cash flow from money invested in your business.

You should also set terms for collections. Collect your money in a maximum of 30 days. Keep the terms
short so that as soon as you do the work, you’re getting paid for the work. The only way to successfully
pay yourself first is to get money from your clients quickly.

How Much Salary Should You Pay Yourself?
Base your salary upon two things:

First, if you were working for someone else in the industry in a comparable position, what would the salary be?
Second, what can your company afford to pay you? Figure that salary level into the business plan so that your
projections for revenue would allow you to get that salary. Make sure your revenue projections include that.
If not, you will be working for yourself at less than what someone else could pay you—and that may not be worth it!

Get Expert Help
While you’re determining your salary, be sure to visit an accountant and determine how much should be paid in
taxes, and how often.

Don’t Forget To Save For a Rainy Day . . .
Once you’ve made sure that you are paying yourself enough, be sure to have enough money in the business for
emergencies.

Research the best practices in the industry. If you’re a consultant with low overhead, a quarter’s cash reserve
could be enough to tide you over. If you’re in a business with inventory, or if you have employees, you should
have a six-month cash reserve.

Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank
1 North Linden St. Duquesne, PA 15110

Phone (412) 460-3663 Fax (412) 460-0418

www.pittsburghfoodbank.org

Pittsburgh, PA (May 31, 2012) - Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank announces the 2012 musical line-up for the Pittsburgh Blues Festival. The 18th Annual Festival, presented by Peoples Natural Gas, is scheduled for July 22-22, 2012, once again at Hartwood Acres.

Ron “Moondog” Esser, Chairman of the Blues Committee that organizes the Festival, announced the line-up this afternoon on WDVE FM with drive-time host Sean McDowell.

FREE Friday, presented by Giant Eagle, Fox 53, WDVE is once again mardi gras night, featuring Terrance Simien & the Zydeco Experience. For more than two decades Simien, a Grammy-winner and an 8th generation Louisiana Creole, has been shattering the myths about his indigenous Creole Zydeco music. Also on Friday will be Anthony Gomes. Nominated by Blueswax as Artist of the Year four times (winning once in 2003), Gomes has a brand new release out (Up 2 Zero) about which Blues Revue Magazine said, “Gomes’ authentic voice and formidable guitar chops put him in the forefront of modern blues.”

On Saturday, the Festival welcomes Canned Heat, Bobby “Blue” Bland, Jimmy Thackery & the Drivers, and Albert Cummings. Some people say that Canned Heat invented the “Blues ‘n Boogie” style that made them famous. Dozens of albums later they are still going strong with three of the four current band members from the original band that headlined at Woodstock. Dozens of blues and R&B influenced rock vocalists have credited Bobby “Blue” Bland as their main influence. At 17 years old, Bland began his career in Memphis working with a band called the Beale Streeters, along with B.B. King, Junior Parker and other blues artists that are all now household names. From that time to this, Bland has not lost his charisma. At 82, chances to see this living legend are diminishing – catch him while you can.

Jimmy Thackery became well-known when he co-founded the infamous Nighthawks, but 2012’s new release Jimmy Thackery & the Drivers As Live As It Gets is symbolic of his present life, live and kicking: “To say they captured Thackery at his best and live is the understatement of the year. This thing rips!” Of Albert Cummings it’s been said “his style is one that recognizes no boundaries.” A formidable guitarist who performs both his own work and some classic covers, Cummings’ most memorable trait is his haunting voice custom made for the blues.

On Sunday, the Blues Festival welcomes one of the first ladies of the blues, Mavis Staples, plus Bernard Allison and Barbara Blue. A 40+ year career hasn’t slowed Mavis Staples down; she scored the Blues Artist of the Year Award at the International Blues Challenge just last August with her recent release You Are Not Alone. Bernard Allison has not played the Blues Festival since 2007, when fans may remember him playing his guitar with his tongue. He has the gifts of his famous father, blues legend Luther Allison, but he has stretched those gifts into his own shapes and sounds and forged a 20+ year recording career including 2011’s Live at the Jazzhaus. And Barbara Blue, one of Pittsburgh’s own who has called Memphis home for more than fifteen years (where she regularly holds court at a Beale Street club), recently released Royal Blue, her 9th album.

Other familiar features of the Blues Festival are also planned. The KidZone returns, sponsored by UPMC Health Plan and Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh of UPMC, with arts and crafts activities and healthy snacks. Merchandise and food vendors will have a wide variety of items from pottery to pulled pork, from hula hoops to Hawaiian ice.

The Blues Festival local line-up will be announced soon. Pittsburgh Blues Festival takes place July 20-22 at Hartwood Acres, and as always, all proceeds benefit Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank. Visit the Blues website at www.pghblues.com to purchase tickets, and for more information:

• On Friday, July 20, sponsored by Giant Eagle, Fox 53 and WDVE, admission is free with a bag of nonperishable groceries for the Food Bank.

• Saturday & Sunday (July 21 & 22) tickets are $30 each day ($25 in advance).

• Weekend passes are available for $45.

• Children under 12 enter free; parking is also free.

• Parking is free

• Visit the Blues website (www.pghblues.com) for information on student & military discounts.

Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank is grateful to all of the sponsors of the 2012 Pittsburgh Blues Festival: Peoples Natural Gas, Giant Eagle, Fox 53, WDVE, Comcast, WPXI-TV11, WYEP;

Bay Valley Foods, David A Tepper Family Charitable Foundation, Duquesne Light Company, AMCOM Office Systems, Keller Williams Realty, Hodgin Financial Group of Ameriprise Financial Services, Inc., Starkist, Coors, White Diamond Vodka, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Chemistry Communications, Moondogs, Pittsburgh East Nissan, the Aspinwall Fire Department, Armstrong Cable, and Print Management, Inc.

Iris Valanti, Director of Communications
412-460-3663, ext 208
Visit www.pittsburghfoodbank.org for information about the Food Bank and all of our events!

www.Water.org

Glass ceilings aside, millions of women are prohibited from accomplishing little more than survival. Not because of a lack of ambition, or ability, but because of a lack of safe water and adequate sanitation. Millions of women and children in the developing world spend untold hours daily, collecting water from distant, often polluted sources, then return to their villages carrying their filled 40 pound jerry cans on their backs.
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In just one day, 200 million work hours are consumed by women collecting water for their families. This lost productivity is greater than the combined number of hours worked in a week by employees at Walmart, United Parcel Service, McDonald’s,
IBM, Target, and Kroger.3

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Surveys from 45 developing countries show that women and children bear the primary responsibility for water collection in the vast majority (76%) of households. This is time not spent working at an income-generating job, caring for family members, or attending school.

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A study by the World Bank and the IRC International Water and Sanitation Centre of community water and sanitation projects in 88 communities found that projects designed and run with the full participation of women are more sustainable and effective than those that do not.

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11 percent more girls attend school when sanitation is available.

Programs are at Carnegie Library of Pittsburgh – Downtown & Business on Thursdays at 12:15 pm. They are free and open to the public.

June 7, How to Find Free, Authoritative Answers to Many Personal and Business
Legal Questions
Joel Fishman, Ph.D., Assistant Director
Allegheny County Law Library
If you’re looking for examples of a simple will, a residential lease, or a pre-nuptial agreement, the Internet has many reputable websites that can be helpful. However, the Allegheny County Law Library offers a wealth of information on all things legal and many of their services are available to the general public. Joel Fishman, Ph.D., assistant director for lawyer services at the Allegheny County Law Library, will be here to tell us how to find information on legal topics that can help in many aspects of our daily lives.

June 14 Employment Resources for Jobs in the Pittsburgh Area
Eric Pferdekamper, Site Administrator
Pennsylvania CareerLink, Downtown Pittsburgh

Local employers may be looking for your skills! Discover how Pennsylvania CareerLink can help you maximize your chances of gaining employment. Has it been a while since you’ve updated your resume? How are your interviewing skills? Are you thinking about changing professions? You’ll be amazed by the many services and classes offered by CareerLink that will help make your job search more effective.

June 21 The Amazing Treasures in the Carnegie Library’s William R. Oliver Special Collections Room
Gregory M. Priore, Manager and Archivist
The William R. Oliver Special Collections Room

You would expect to find material about Andrew Carnegie and the early history of Pittsburgh here, but what about Bach manuscripts, original cels from Disney’s Pinocchio and Fantasia, and rare photographs from the Edward Curtis North American Indian Portfolio? Greg Priore will talk about the Oliver room collections, appraising books, historic documents and photographs, and preservation-related issues.

June 28 Sit Down and Fight: Walter Reuther and the Rise of the Auto Workers Union
(PBS American Experience – 60 minutes)

The auto industry underwent an enormous upheaval with the introduction of auto assembly lines. The stress of keeping up with the line was too much for most of the workers, who were unable to work under the pressure. Walter Reuther, an early leader in the American Auto Workers union, led the effort to improve their working conditions, starting with sit-downs at GM and Chrysler, and finally at Ford. Reuther focused on worker benefits, guaranteed wages, paid holidays, and the elimination of racism in the industry. See if he really deserved to be known as “the most dangerous man in Detroit” during these years.

By Patricia Thibault
Social Security District Manager in Pittsburgh, PA

You can probably think of a number of times when you asked your dad for a little extra help. Now, with Father’s Day right around the corner, is the perfect time to offer a little extra help for Dad. People across the nation are helping their dads save nearly $4,000 a year on the cost of Medicare prescription drugs. You can help your dad too — and it won’t cost you a dime.

The high cost of prescription medication can be a burden on fathers (or anyone) who have limited income and resources. But there is Extra Help — available through Social Security — that could pay part of his monthly premiums, annual deductibles, and prescription co-payments. That Extra Help is estimated to be worth about $4,000 a year.

To figure out whether your father is eligible, Social Security needs to know his income and the value of his savings, investments, and real estate (other than the home he lives in). To qualify for the Extra Help, he must be enrolled in Medicare and have:

• Income limited to $16,755 for an individual or $22,695 for a married couple living together. Even if his annual income is higher, he still may be able to get some help with monthly premiums, annual deductibles, and prescription co-payments. Some examples where income may be higher include if he or his spouse:
—Support other family members who live with them;
—Have earnings from work; or
—Live in Alaska or Hawaii.
• Resources limited to $13,070 for an individual or $26,120 for a married couple living together. Resources include such things as bank accounts, stocks, and bonds. We do not count his house and a car (if he has one) as resources.

Social Security has an easy-to-use online application that you can help complete for your dad. You can find it at www.socialsecurity.gov/prescriptionhelp. To apply by phone or have an application mailed to you, call Social Security at 1-800-772-1213 (TTY 1-800-325-0778) and ask for the Application for Help with Medicare Prescription Drug Plan Costs (SSA-1020). Or go to the nearest Social Security office.

To learn more about the Medicare prescription drug plans and special enrollment periods, visit www.medicare.gov or call 1-800-MEDICARE (1-800-633-4227; TTY 1-877-486-2048).

Think of all the times you’ve asked Dad for some extra help. This Father’s Day, give your dad a little extra help he can use year-round — a savings of up to $4,000 a year on his Medicare prescription drugs through Extra Help available from Social Security.

Contact me: JoyceKFaulkner@gmail.com

Wing Wife:How to Be Married to a Marine Fighter Pilot (Kindle Edition) by Marcia Sargent

A fun book that is also thoughtful and thought provoking!
Reviewed by Joyce Faulkner
It’s a wet, windy day here in Pittsburgh. I’ve just finished Marcia Sargent’s award-winning memoir, “Wing Wife.” I proces her work and ponder her question, how do we deal with life when we feel death’s shadow every morning?

It’s an issue I first faced at thirteen when my grandfather was murdered. Because his loss was the result of another person’s choices and I didn’t have the power to stop it, I thought it was especially frightening. When I grew up, I realized that death is ALWAYS the result of things outside anyone’s control - war, mistakes, murder, disease, accidents, executions. When I volunteered for the rape crises center, I learned that even though it was natural to reach out to a victim saying, “It’s not your fault,” for certain frames of mind, this was an additional cruelty. Bolts out of the blue are so terrifying that it’s preferable to say, it MUST have been something that I did - If I’d turned left rather than right, if I’d worn the blue dress rather than the red one, if I’d stopped at Wendy’s rather than McDonald’s - if, if, if! But in the long run, as Marcia implies, there’s no solace in a litany of possibilities that didn’t happen. There’s only the horror that did.

In my thirties, I read Ernest Becker, an American Philosopher, who was fascinated with this subject. In a more academic approach, he posits that there is one thing that all people throughout time and across geography share - and that’s the knowledge of our own impending death (and that of our loved ones) - and we are universally distressed by this idea. How we live is a measure of how we’ve come to deal with that knowledge. Some find comfort in religion - the notion that the soul never dies, only the body. There’s some physical support to this attractive idea - energy is neither created nor destroyed, it only changes form. However, the believer is still left to deal with the harsh realities of the transition. Others focus on the quality of the lives they lead - however short that joy might be. They want to go out in a “blaze of glory” and have their names inscribed on a wall somewhere - forever remembered for their derring do and bravery. Then there are those who build things that live on after them - pyramids, airplanes, businesses - pieces of art, libraries — books.

Marcia tackles the subject in a much more personal way. As a young wife of a Marine Corps Fighter Pilot and the sister of another, she smells danger every day. At first, she comforts herself with facts that she accepts without question. The young men are excellent pilots. They fly high performance, well-designed aircraft. They are supported by excellent crews. They have wives and families - they are serving their country. They stare catastrophe in the face in the morning, and moon it at drunken parties that same evening. Accidents might happen, but they happen to other people - to the unwary and to the careless. Her guys are savvy and careful. Ergo, it won’t happen to them - to her.

For all Marcia’s youthful surety and resilience, a series of distressingly common tragedies blasts holes into her life. In a fighter pilot’s dangerous world, people die from the smallest miscalculations — their own and anyone else’s. At a time of life when women are naturally “nesting,” Marcia lives in a world controlled totally by others. Where she lives, who she knows, what she does all depend on the military. She cannot be sure that the man she sends off to work each morning will return to her for lunch. And if he doesn’t, there’s no room for her in their little community any more.

With a rising rock ‘n roll beat, tragedy scars the families around her. Marcia’s grief-fueled stress rises - because she can’t do anything about it, because it comes with the territory, because there’s no donut without the dough - and he’s the dough. Still, until her beloved brother is killed, she never asks her husband to change.

Most women under those circumstances would seek another life - another man. There are a vast array of sexy, healthy, intelligent men out there who DON’T risk their lives and “the nest” every day. There are families who live in the towns THEY choose in homes that they want. But at the lowest point in her emotional life, Marcia reacts with something more fundamental. Love. Too often, women’s definitions of the marital bargain are narrow — ending at sexual exclusivity. Marcia evaluates marriage at its most primeval level — a partnership. When she realizes that there is nothing she could change that she would change, she commits the rest of the way and becomes a “Wing Wife.” She is the person her husband can count on — for support, for help, for growth. She takes care of the things that she can so he can focus on the things that he must. She doesn’t forget about her fears, she just uses that energy to back him up and ensure that during those dangerous runs, he is in the moment doing what he was built to do. She ensures that if their time together is to be short, it will also be joyous.

I wonder if my strategy or my neighbor’s will be as effective as Marcia’s. Perhaps the tremulous nature of life is what makes it so very precious!

Wing Wife is available on Amazon.com

Joyce Faulkner, Author
Windshift
USERNAME
Chance … and other horrors
In the Shadow of Suribachi
Losing Patience

Coauthor of:
Role Call: Women’s Voices
Sunchon Tunnel Massacre Survivors

PO Box 264, Bridgeville, PA 15017
412.496.5034