Women’s Independent Press

AnnaMarie Petrarca Gire

How did the crab contact the shrimp? Called him on his shell phone….Okay, maybe not so funny

Laugh:
Make the spontaneous sounds and movements of the face and body that are the instinctive expressions of lively amusement and sometimes also of contempt or derision

My day isn’t compete without a real LAUGH, caused by some off handed remark from a friend or a TV show or something that causes me to laugh out loud. Seinfeld does that for me, I laugh before the characters say their lines, I love that show. Sometimes when I am not in such a good mood, I seek out people who make me laugh; my friend Linda in Kentucky, my husband in Illinois, his humor is dry and sometimes dark, but very funny. I watched a commercial a few months ago, a parody of the beer commercial with the man who is perfect, Dos Equis ), he says “stay thirsty my friend” The Puss and Boots movie trailer was of the kitty leaning on one side and says with a glass of milk in hand/paw, “stay furry my friend’ I still laugh when I think of that.

My friend Linda and I went to movie, Signs. It made me laugh so hard that I had to leave the theater; the lines were so banal that I lost control, laughing so hard that my stomach hurt and soda was coming out of my nose. I can’t think of a single line that caused that reaction, but I still laugh when I talk about Signs with Linda.

When I was younger, laughing at me was not so easy. Youth can be a time of insecurity, so I kept those funny moments buried. Then one day I thought of them and they were funny and I found myself sharing the stories and people laughed, not at me but with me.
One such story had me searching for a dress in the east end of Pittsburgh when I was around 22 or 23. I walked into the store looked around looked up and noticed a woman who seemed to resemble me, so I said, “ we look a lot alike” she didn’t answer, so I looked harder and said, we’re wearing the same clothes, and to my embarrassment realized I was having a conversation with my image in the mirror. The sales clerk came over and said, “ May I help you”, I said “no” and scooted out of that store as fast as I could, never to return.

I have a bird, Sal and she has a book coming out soon. Her stories are funny and a bit strange.
For instance:
Chapter 3
“The Thermostat”
“A small device used to regulate the temperature in one’s home or business”
For Sal, the thermostat became a wonderland for destruction. Sal loved the thermostat, landing on it whenever the opportunity arose, which it did, often. I would catch him right away, and remove his curious little body from the device.
But the more he was removed, the more attractive it was. Sal would be perched on the curtain rod, look longingly at the thermostat and swoop down, trying hard to see if it could be destroyed in one quick movement. But, my quick response saved the thermostat from certain destruction.

That changed when Dave decided not to put Sal in a safe place when he left the house. One day, I returned home from work and the house was unusually hot. I went to check the thermostat and found most of it scattered on the dining room floor. Sal was clucking away on his perch in the hall looking very innocent. I attempted to turn it down, but it wouldn’t move; it just sat there while the house became hotter and hotter. The mercury had also been bitten into, so I was sure that Sal had done himself in, but he never suffered any ill effects from the mercury. (Sometimes, Sal seems to truly be a Super Bird.)

I couldn’t turn the thermostat down and for some inexplicable reason called his former owner,
Debbie, and said quite frantically, because by now I was sure the house would explode from the heat:
“WHAT should I do?
She said quite calmly, with a hint of a smile in her voice,” Maybe you should call a plumber.” Now why didn’t I think of that?
So I hung up. It was now about 90 degrees in the house so I called the plumber in my somewhat controlled voice. A woman answered and I explained the dilemma. “MY bird ate my thermostat” There was dead silence for a moment, and then she repeated what I had said, cheerfully and with a little disbelief and asked if I wanted someone to come out right away. Hmmm, right now, or later, when the house had melted away?

So the repairperson came, and he said with a smile, “the bird ate the thermostat”- and he said it again, and again. Funny for him. Sal was now in big trouble. I would watch him very closely, but he had Dave on his side, and so we continued to play games, me watching Sal, and Sal waiting for that special moment, the moment when I wasn’t looking. Of course, it happened again, but Sal was not near the thermostat and the thermostat was not working but I figured Sal was guilty. Who or what else would do that but the little darling? Once again, I called the repair shop and once again talked with the same woman who with the same bemused voice, said, “So the bird ate the thermostat?” This was starting to look like a habit, so I asked the repairperson to protect the thermostat with a plastic box. Now Sal had a real surface to land on, but the thermostat was safe. Or so I thought. Eventually, Sal figured a way to dismantle the box, but the thermostat stayed intact, Sal had better things to do…..

There is nothing better or more therapeutic than a good solid laugh, better than any therapy and sure to make you feel good. So find that funny friend or movie or book and laugh laugh laugh. You will feel better, sleep better and work better.